Everything around me is quite, and silent. I feel loose and strange. The walls and the paint strokes on them somehow are so much more interesting. I feel connected with myself. Yet, I feel dis connected from this world. The walls, are they moving? The silence of the nature, the cool breeze. I feel pleasent, calm and look forward for the morning. Another round of meditation, I suppose.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Random Thought #3
A month in Pune has already passed by. It has been a wonderful experience, and yet continues to be. Every day is a new lesson, a new journey and revelation within another. Coming here, surrounded by this beautiful weather, the foothills of Saiyadri’s, the lake behind and surrounded by so many likeminded people, it has given me ample opportunity to reflect and get lost in my thoughts.
Being a single child to a single working mother, gave me the opportunity to create my own tiny wonderful world in my thoughts, where everything is always according to my sense and sensibilities. Where, I can sit and go about thinking and things fall into place. A place, where I don’t need to communicate with words, my thoughts are enough. I can question and counter question myself. Be at peace within. Over time I realized, people find it hard to have relationships with me, be it my friends, classmates, partner or my relatives. My little world overshadows the reality where I speak more in my mind than in reality.
Growing up with less distractions than others, always gave me a lot of time to think and play things in my head. My soul and mind always in a game of its own, the body a vessel for medium of contacts. Within these few days, a lot of people have had a hard time to work with me, because I barely speak openly, and rather play it loud in my mind.
Has the phase of psychosis changed me? Yes, I feel the change within and its reflection in my everyday life.
”
”
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)