The Forest

The time has stopped, it’s moving so slowly. It seems to be in a loop, it keeps repeating itself. I can predict the movements of these guys and their actions. The moon looks much closer and bigger than before. Not the usual size. Why is it so bright? Is it saying something, trying to show us something? The peacocks and peahens are making sounds all around us. They do not mind us sharing their space, and enjoying the night-time and beauty of the clearance. I can hear Tool being played. It seems like the nature is communicating to us through the music. Whatever Maynard is saying makes perfect sense at this moment. Is all of this happening or am I imagining it?

My physical body is very tired and exhausted; the mind is very much active. Lying down on the wet grass and staring into space, the moon is evolving and changing shape. The physical body is on the ground but why do I feel like I am flying?

The night sky is beautiful. So many colours all around, the light from the streets is somehow illuminating the sky. It’s a mix of orange and red, blue and black. The trees are swaying and dancing all around us, enjoying the freedom of the nigh time. Cool breeze blows across my face, making me feel pleasant. We’re drifting through time and space, yet our physical presence feels grounded. 

I feel relaxed and connected. I feel matured, much calm than before, enjoying every bit of this scenic beauty. I don’t want it to end, but it will eventually. Now the only thing I can do is, try coming into this state of mind without psychedelic. Trying to feel like this, trying to viewing things from the psychedelic perspective. It’s been over a day when I finally pen this down, and somehow, I feel the same. I think my thought process has been altered. I feel much more at peace and spiritually connected. Also, I think I see sound in between from time to time.

If you notice close enough on this blog, you’d see that I wasn’t that active before April. Reason being, I was bombarded with exams, studies and other commitments. Now that, everything is out of the way, I have more time to think and interpret on things. Well, as most of my close friends and family members know, I have been selected into MIT Institute of Design, Pune. One of the best design schools in the country, where I’ll be pursuing bachelors of Design for the next four and a half years. Shifting to another city is pain in the ass really. I am trying to spend as much time with the near and dear ones really. I also feel pity at the kids trying to get into the Delhi University this year, and the kids who were entrancing for every damn thing on this planet.

College will be another four fold chapter of my life, where I plan to acquire more knowledge and learn new things. It’s hard to think about all the things and people, I will be leaving back in Delhi, only to visit them twice or thrice a year. Fucked up, isn’t it? Though after talking to a senior from college, my excitement has increased marginally and I am really looking forward to it.

Though, the funniest thing to happen while I was entrancing was the NLU Delhi exam, which I gave because I just felt like giving it. Being totally unprepared and not at all worried about the result because of the design seat waiting for me in Pune, I had a gala time, drinking six glasses of water, staring at the students, the invigilators and fiddling around with my bench. Shockingly, my result wasn’t that bad either. I got 80 out of 150.

Now that everything is out of the way, I am looking forward for the college life, putting up in a hostel and in a totally different state surrounded by people I’ll meet for the first time. I might end up with few close friends or none at all. Which will be an experience in it self. Sharing a room with a fellow like minded guy will be welcome nevertheless. Oh, just to rub it in, I won’t have exams in my college. Yeah, get jealous now, everyone is. :P

Till next time. 

The Moon

I made this is in absolute darkness with just two pencils. It is just a clichéd attempt to show how we humans are fueling the scenic beauty of the environment and the night time beauty and the positive energy of the moon. I had no clear idea what I had manage to make in the darkness of the ground till the time I came back home later that night. The moon, a thing of beauty shines upon us with its positive energy and illuminates our surroundings with clear light and we go on to go and spread darkness with our negative actions, reactions and fights. This was the night before the total lunar eclipse.

Till next time.

What do you see?

I made this as part of my MIT design portfolio. Material used is canvas and acrylic paint. I did not use a ghetto, because I did not want the smooth touch to the paint and background. I like it rough. The paint lines are not perfectly straight, because then it would be too pre decided. Imperfect is perfect in its own sense. As most people who know about colors, would know red stands for love and black can be used for negativity. Same is the case here. What do you see in it? I see two souls separated because of negativity and miss communication, but what came in between us?

Altered State of Consciousness

For the people who don’t know, since Shaurya, a really close friend passed away, my consumption of psychedelic drugs has increased. Yes, one can say I am a pot head. But, I would still not suggest that for your daily consumption or if you are a kid. I don’t do psychedelics because I find it cool, for most of the time I have tried to reach within myself and seek answers. I have been to places far beyond the reasons of human mind. I have seen and felt things hard to explain. I’ve been to the other side, drifting through time and space but I know for certain, I have a voice calling me back to reality when I’m done.

I have a deeper connection with myself. I understand the purpose. For what and how I think, is not how you’d react to your surroundings. I have started to view things from a different aspect, from another angle. Things don’t fall in the same black and white/ positive and negative anymore, they are somewhere in between. I have tried my best to push my mental boundaries; I have tried to reach out to the greater good. I know, in the process I may put my self at danger. But, now I have embraced the fact that change is good. Whatever happens, it will be for the good. I return a different person every time. Someway or the other I change. I know it is hard to digest the fact when someone talks like this, but that is the bitter truth.

I feel more connected to life, to nature and on the whole to human existence. Life is too short to sit and worry. Most times, I push harder to go back through meditation and deep thinking. Being in the altered state of consciousness has thought me to embrace my desires and work towards them. I have seen and felt things that till today, when I think about them make the hair on my skin stand up. I have had out of body experiences and I have felt the spiral within me, I have seen it front of my eyes, I have hallucinated.

Life is different now. I am coming in terms with my flaws. But, I continue to push my boundaries and keep going. I have taken mind altering substances to go to places I thought I’d never go to, but now I want to try and go there without psychedelic drugs.

Till next time.